Nil carborundum illegitimi

Maybe it’s a function of the advancing years or the time of year but I find myself easily moved at the moment. I recently helped judge a singing competition at Umhlali Primary School where a little girl sang a beautiful version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. It took me completely by surprise and before I could catch myself, I was in tears. I tried to pretend that there was some dust in my eye, but I don’t think that anybody was fooled.  Then a friend in the motor industry sent me a copy of a beautiful British television commercial promoting the use of seat belts and again I was overcome. Luckily there was no one with me so I didn’t have to use the dust trick again, but it took me a while to compose myself. This development concerns me. I have always been pretty good at concealing my emotions and now I seem to be losing it. I was raised to believe that real men don’t cry and that, come what may, you straighten your back, stiffen your upper lip and soldier on. Nil carborundum illegitimi – Never let the bastards grind you down…now there’s a motto to conjure with.

 I don’t think that I have ever hugged my father – he is rather frail now and  I love him dearly but our relationship has always been at the end of a warm handshake and even if I wanted to (and I often have) I think a hug or embrace would make us both uncomfortable. No, it’s a handshake…

But I have tried to raise our boys differently and I hope that I have to some degree overcome the emotional strictures of my post-Victorian heritage which were brought into very clear focus in Cape Town last week. Sue and I flew down to attend a graduation ceremony at UCT where our eldest son, Michael, received his degree with distinction. It was a proud moment for us both and as we sat in the Great Hall waiting for the ceremony to begin, I wondered where the time had gone and how quickly the years had flown by. I remembered my own graduation ceremony and how proud my father had been and how particularly warm that handshake had been…

The ceremony at UCT began, as it had at Wits where I and my father before me had graduated, with that lovely old traditional Latin hymn, Gaudiamus Igitur as the procession of academic staff made its way through the convocation and onto the stage. And there was a very familiar face in the august procession.

Graca Machel is the Chancellor of the university and she delivered a most inspiring address which was entirely appropriate at this time of hope and renewal. With the world in economic disarray and the administration of our beloved country in the hands of some of the most corrupt and inept politicians on the planet (in my opinion), it is easy to become pessimistic and to look for greener pastures. Many South Africans have done just that, but the grass is often greener where the manure is more plentiful and now they are starting to return.

I like positive people and I particularly enjoyed Graca Machel’s approach to the problems that confront us. Although she was more refined and eloquent in her manner, what she said resonated soundly…nil carborundum illegitimi – never let the bastards grind you down!

After the ceremony we met our son on the stairs of the great hall. He stood in his academic gown and cape and I thought how proud my dad would be if he could have been there. I also thought about shaking my son’s hand but emotion overwhelmed me and I hugged him instead and, yes, I had to wipe that dust from my eyes again… Maybe it’s a function of the advancing years or the time of year but I find myself easily moved at the moment.  

May I take this opportunity to wish you and everyone you love a blessed Christmas and a wonderful new season as we say goodbye to 2011. Here’s hoping the coming year brings a little more peace on earth and good will toward all of us.